VVIBING ON TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER NEW GRAMMY, AND LIKE IN GENERAL

So Taylor Swift won another Grammy. GOOD FOR HER OH MY GOD SHE DESERVED IT.

Men, cis, and straight mostly, hate Taylor Swift, we all know that. They will go out of their way to tell you how her music is bad, how she only sings about breakups, how she’s lame, without ever stopping to listen to one of her songs.

Well, I personally think they are afraid of her. I think men, guys, boys, are afraid of the young pretty girl who calls them out on their bullshit, who sang “Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame // Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away” at 20 years old. They are afraid because Taylor profits off their lies and lives her best life. Girls, gays and theys who listen to Taylor Swift are not afraid to be soft but are not to be messed with, at least not since Blank Space was released. So men act like her songs are boring and childish.

But they don’t get it. They can’t even begin to fathom that maybe the reason why we love Taylor Swift so much, and scream-sing her lyrics like they are sacred texts, is because she writes about a thing that’s fundamentally human, relationships. Mostly heartbreaking ones.

And it doesn't matter who breaks your heart, it doesn’t matter if it's a boy from college, or high school, or Jake Gyllenhaal; heartbreak is heartbreak, and an universal feeling that unites people all over the world singing All Too Well crying at 3 am.

She started her career with cute songs about love then grew up to be one of the most successful women in the music industry and GOOD FOR HER. She is loved by millions of teenage girls around the world because she sings about men breaking her heart, and not something considered cool and edgy. She sings about highs and lows, and sometimes things we feel, ugly things, that we can’t even admit to ourselves. 

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And Taylor Swift puts all those feelings, the emptiness, hopelessness, heartache, envy, jealousy, anger into lyrics, and that’s very brave of her. She helps us put the feeling into words, so we don’t have to do it alone, and feel seen and heard, comforted; because then we know for sure we are not the first, nor the last to feel like their heart might as well implode and take your body with it so you can stop crying over a stupid guy. Yet, as much as her lyrics are sad, they are hopeful, there are good relationships in the world too, there are better days to come, this sadness is not everlasting, it can’t be. If she is alive and well, you too will heal, you know?

That’s the beauty of her discography. She calls men out the way we wish we had the courage, or the words, or the chance to do; she keeps writing from the heart, even if the media comes after her again and again, and she wins every time because they can break her heart and say some nasty things about her but they can’t stop her. She sings with us through nights of dreaming, of grieving relationships, and promise after promise to never be caught in a situation like this again, still, her songs won’t ever judge if you ever do.

To me sitting with my headphones on, listening to Taylor Swift is comfort. It’s knowing if she got over Harry Styles, you can get over that crusty dehydrated guy; it’s knowing there’s always a new beginning and you’re gonna be ok and find someone who you would marry with paper rings. 

EMOTIONAL VVIBES: GRIEF AS A CHARACTER

 I think the MCU approaches being a human superhero in a beautiful way that is so realistic that sometimes it gets lost in translation. The way issues like PTSD, grief, insecurity, rejection, abandonment, and other stuff impact these heroes' lives is much more realistic than any dark and gloomy universe that was ever shown in other franchises.

It really makes me happy that these heroes all have flaws because none of them is a hero by divine right only, they are mostly human, and even if they aren’t they have human-like traits and weaknesses. People have told me over and over again how the MCU is superficial because it’s set in a fairytale or science-fiction-like world so different from ours but I think it’s the most realistic representation there is of people with superpowers causing havoc because they have feelings and they have flaws.

Starting from the beginning, Tony gets his hands on power and responsibility he has no psychological structure to deal with and although his intentions are good, he makes mistakes over and over again even when he’s trying to fix things and these have real impact on his future decisions and the chain of events of the movies; later on, we see a much more mature and stable Tony whose decisions are better but there was a path to that.

Thor’s arch is also very interesting if you leave the execution of his plot in Endgame out, the idea was exciting, but the Russos failed the character. But his journey from Arrogant Golden Boy with divine powers and a hammer to Leader was beautiful. I won’t go through every single Avenger but you see Doctor Strange, Captain America, T’Challa and I’m sure I’m forgetting someone important, whose beliefs were constantly questioned through the movies and led to major breakthroughs and changes, is fantastic, they start their character arches raw and grow from there.

I just finished WandaVision and the way the MCU has been dealing with grief since Spider-Man: Far From Home charms me and makes me appreciate this universe even more, the fact that Peter’s grief and lack of maturity, because well... he is a teenager, isn’t just mentioned but causes real problems and growth, the way his grieving of a father figure or idol is a character itself in FFH, and his self-doubt and realization of how there’s more responsibility in his hands than he is able to deal with hitting him on the gut over and over again until he breaks down talking to Happy who lost his best friend and still is able to comfort Peter in a way that was so delicate and sensible that it comforted me after losing my favorite superhero, even through a screen, is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in fiction.

And now we see another side of grief in Wanda, grief that makes you hopeless, grief that has nowhere to look forward to, makes it too much to bear, grief that feels like a hole in your chest that’s never going to be filled up again. Wanda getting lost in her own grief, which has been there through her entire life, getting stronger every time she lost the people closest to her to the point her breaking down created a tiny world of her own where she gets to live the life she always dreamt about and won’t let anyone take it away from her is so fucking powerful and beautiful to see. I also love the impact of this in the cinematic universe but that’s another thread of thought. 

Seeing Agnes constantly trying to wake her up and Wanda being so lost in character, in grief, she has no idea of what is or isn’t her making. The way denial and anger and all the normal reactions to grief are amplified by her having the strongest superpowers and these cause a real impact on everything around her quite literally... It just made me want to scream over how real it all was, yet not exactly like what reality is depicted in superhero movies or shows like the Nolan trilogy (which I watched and respect but remembering it, it just sounds a little too silly, and IDK I might be wrong but it doesn’t change the fact) or The Boys, which I haven’t watched but at this point, you probably noticed how much I don’t like this type of reality, just doesn’t hit me as hard. As realistic as they claim to be, in my head, the real world just has more emotions, problems caused by fear, insecurity, sadness, pettiness, arrogance, ignorance, and immaturity, not everything is caused by being a selfish asshole or a psychopath.

Which is why I adore the MCU so much, even if sometimes they don’t get to really explore the entire journeys, like in IM3, where Tony has panic attacks and then they are gone, the fact that these things are canon and not only that, they get to be major plot points makes me really happy. As much as people claim that the MCU is a disgusting blob of the same movies, I think that the structure and the consistency they created is what allows things this naturally human and deep to be addressed, you just have to be looking at the right side of it, past the aesthetics and the things that are honestly white noise left from the world in which these movies started (2008) and to the way these characters are allowed to grow throughout the movies, even if they’re not and will never be perfect.